Please Don’t Water Your F*cking Lawn

Right now on Vancouver Island there is a level 4 drought AKA the driest level of drought for the province AKA actions should be taken to preserve water. Yet, as I walk my dog down my street everywhere I look I see people watering their f*cking lawns. I am sorry if this may have offended you because you’re one of those people who water their lawn. You are probably a great person and I understand it feels good to have your home look good, but people all over the world don’t even have access to clean drinking water and our own island has a level 4 drought – this is really not the time and place for aesthetically motivated decision making. Don’t worry too much though, you can still change your green grass tendencies. There are grass alternatives that require less water, help the environment in a multitude of ways, and even look good while increasing your karma! 


Having lawn space is an absolute blessing, but grass is one of the least helpful things to have in your garden space besides concrete. Grass has almost no benefits at all for the environment around us. Some easy alternatives to grass include:
which is not only a helpful herb to have on hand but requires much less water to stay healthy than grass.

 Roman Chamomile: a low-maintenance lawn alternative which looks good too. 

Dutch Clover: is nitrogen-fixing, and even provides nectar for bees.


Speaking of bees, honey bees perform 80% of all pollination worldwide. 70 out of 100 top human food crops are pollinated by bees. Basically we cannot exist as humans on Earth without bees, and yet worldwide bee colonies are collapsing and disappearing. There are a number of plants you can garden to help increase positive agricultural conditions for bees and help counteract this environmental crisis. Bees flourish when given access to bee balm, cosmos, echinacea, snapdragons foxglove, and hosta in the summer. By Googling plants that help save the bees, you can find other easy crops that can benefit our environment while even brightening up your garden space. 

Another productive use of lawn space, but a bit more ambitious, is starting your own sustainable food garden. The majority of produce consumed on Vancouver Island does not come from the Island. This means we are not very self-sufficient. We must pay for, and make our environment pay for, the transportation of produce from mainland resources onto the Island. The soil and growing conditions on Vancouver Island are ideal for many types of produce. You could be saving money and our environment by planting your first batch of North Country Blueberries today. There are a number of resources to start your sustainable garden online, including ones specific to Vancouver Island conditions. As well, cruise through pinterest on your next internet creeping session to get some garden inspiration. Sustainable-Garden-Lead-home-design1.jpg

If all of this sounds a little ambitious for you, which I definitely understand since I’m looking at my dying pea plant with confusion as I write this, then I still have one request for you: minimally don’t water your f*cking lawn. The worst case scenario of not watering your grass is that it turns golden. A lot of people like the colour gold. It even represents wealth a lot of the time. There is no benefit to anyone by using up clean water for aesthetic appeal. Make gold grass come back into style and just put down the hose. 

And, remember, poppers, to see change, share change, be change. Much love xo.


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